Tonight was Fat Tuesday, and I’m pleased with our turnout despite the debauchery going on elsewhere in our fair city. That’s not to imply that there wasn’t debauchery going on at the Highball… but really, there actually wasn’t, I can’t lie. Many beers were drunk but everyone was friendly and respectful. No ethnic slurs. None verbalized, at least.

Every week lately it seems like we’ve been visited by strangers from distant, faraway lands. Two weeks ago we had The Librarians from Philly, and this week it was Shit-Zoo from lovely Detroit.

Shit-Zoo.
It put me in a quandary, and this is because I like to be folksy and chat with all my new friends—when people are from Detroit, is it okay to bring up the whole urban blight deal? And, I mean, let’s call a spade a spade—it ain’t normal urban blight in Detroit, it’s EXTREME URBAN BLIGHT 3000 II: THE RECKONING. It’s GOT to be a touchy subject. I’ve made these mistakes before, generally when talking to New Orleans refugees at parties (Me: “So, how’d that all work out for you?” They: “Oh, you know, lost everything. Having to start from scratch.” Me: “… I have lots of credit card debt?”) So, you know, I don’t know how to proceed. Like, all I could think about when talking to these EXTREMELY nice people was that I’d accidentally say “General Motors” when I meant something else. As in, “Well I’m glad you came out here to the Highball. Make sure you stop by the Alamo General Motors at some point to see a movie. They bring Ford to your seat!”

Sigh. They were really nice. I would say that I hope to see them next week, but I just don’t see it as likely.

Here’s the rundown of what I vaguely remember about things that happened two hours ago:

Round one was about puns.

Round two was an audio round—songs about New York City. It gave me good reason to play “Empire State of Mind” by Jay-Z and Alicia Keys a little later on. Man, what a great song—a whole new generation of idealistic teenagers are now inspired to make poor life choices thanks to Hova.

Round three was a speed round—I made you list as many of the Academy Award nominees for Best Picture as you could while the theme to WKRP in Cincinnati played.

Round four was all about sitcom themes. Scorekeeper James and I messed with your collective minds by playing other TV themes that had NOTHING to do with the questions being asked (among them—Chip and Dale’s Rescue Rangers, Reading Rainbow and Full House. Did someone download a whole giant pack of TV themes in anticipation of this round? Yes, someone did. Does someone now have 230 songs on his computer that he plans to burn into your brains? YES. Because the theme from Blossom belongs at the Highball.

Round five was visual—several teams got the whole thing right. Brains + reasoning = answers, right? Round six was the Jim/Gym/Gem round and that’s when James had to skidaddle a little early. Suddenly I had flashes of Week One in my head. Flop sweat. Would I be able to do math and grade rounds 6, 7 and 8 and not keep us until midnight?

Round seven was another audio round, our spoof round. You know, I clear out the clips from the pub quizzes every week, but the Blazing Saddles clip is being thrown in heavy rotation from now on. It belongs there. It does.

Round eight, our final round, had some tricky multi-part questions, but you pulled it through. More than that, I pulled it through, reclaiming some of my lost elementary math abilities and scoring the last three rounds by 10:30. Flop sweat averted. First place went to a newcomer (to the Highball) team of Geeks Who Drink regulars, Oxford Coma. I was told, after the fact, that one of the members of the team actually has a jacket that says Oxford Coma on it. THAT IS COMMITMENT. Second place went to the Grätüïtöüs Ümläüts, a team name so out of my league that I actually had to have one of the members tweet it to me to cut and paste correctly. I worry the umlaut concentration may crash GeeksWhoDrink.com. Third prize went to Where We’re Going We Don’t Need Luges, a team name that features a perfect mix of geeky reference and cruel, horrible joke. Precisely what we’re looking for here at Geeks Who Drink.

Oxford Coma.

It was girls night out with Die Usual Suspects.

My Car Smells Like Fish.

Uppers Downers Screamers and Laughers.

Where We’re Goings We Don’t Luges.

MODOK Family Singers!.

Muppet Fight Club.

Ora Ora Ora Ora Ora!

Puritan Osmosis Syndrome.

The Grätüïtöüs Ümläüts.
Tonight’s Scores!

Oxford Coma	        85
Gratuitous Umlauts	81
Where We're Going We
Don't Need Luges	72
Shit-Zoo	        65
We're Giving Up
Jesus For Lent	        64
MODOK Family Singers	64
Muppet Fight Club	64
Uppers Downers
Screamers and Laughers	63
Puritan Osmosis
Syndrome	        57
Dee Usual Suspects	43
Ora Ora Ora Ora Ora	23
My Car Smells Like Fish	8