Hoo-ah, tonight’s pub quiz at the Highball was like that scene at the end of Back To The Future III where they’ve hijacked the steam locomotive and are tossing in these crazy colorful engine additives that propel the train off the incomplete bridge at 88 miles per hour. Except the steam locomotive is the nice plastic and rubber table all my nice things (like my nearly brand new laptop) were resting on, and the colorful additives were the first fucking dance-off tiebreaker in the brief Highball pub quiz history. And, I guess, if we extend the metaphor a bit further, my shiny laptop was the Delorean, just trying to make it home, safe and sound, to 1985.

Spoiler alert, Robert Zemeckis fans from twenty years ago: we made it home. With fiery track marks.

So, another great turnout here despite the LOST-ivities going on just down the block. Seriously, what you do people see in that show? It’s only, like, the most compelling, well-constructed and all-around-entertaining hour on television. What’s the big deal? Christ, I won’t get to watch it until tomorrow (Wednesday) evening, so I’d really prefer the internet just shut off in the meantime. Here’s how sick I am: last night I stayed up past my bedtime to watch a poor webcam recording of an outdoor screening of the first hour. I’m a goddamn addict, and ABC’s decision to move LOST’s night from Wednesdays to Tuesdays broke my damn heart…

…but I digress. Twenty teams came to play here at the Highball. Many new faces, quite a few returnees.

Standout rounds: round two was a resounding success. Two teams got a perfect score, four only missed one, two only missed two, and five missed only three. Virtually everyone jokered (wisely). Round three was our speed round– all teams but one made it in with their correct answers before the end of “I Got You Babe” (I played it because, you know, it’s from Groundhog Day. The movie. Because they played it in that movie. And today is Groundhog Day… the holiday). Between a nearly perfect first round, and a very perfect second and third round, the Fighting Okazaki Fragments had a nice seven point lead– inevitable winners? No, no my friends.

Anything can happen at pub quiz. Some weak scores in later rounds brought Okazaki down to earth a bit, allowing several other teams to narrow the gap. By the end of round eight we had a tie for third place between Beaks Who Stink and A Puppy Named Whitney, and a tie for first place between the Fighting Okazaki Fragments and the Fuzzy Zoellers (who mounted a dramatic comeback from fifth place).

What to do? Well, here we are on a stage. Where we’re playing music. Where we have the opportunity to have fun. Yes, it was time for a dance-off. For the music, I felt there was only one choice: Kenny Loggins’ “Footloose.” The reps from Beaks Who Stink and A Puppy Named Whitney both turned in excellent performances– Whitney’s charm, however, shone through.

Whitney earning her fifteen dollars.

The rep from Beaks Who Stink can’t compete with a girl.
But really, honestly, I couldn’t tell you much about exactly what they did… all because of what happened next.

So, new rule. If I say we’re doing a dance-off (and the Highball staff have now requested a dance-off every week), let’s not hop up on the light-weight table where my delicious Thanksgiving sandwich, soda, scorekeeper James’ beer, and my precious, beautiful new laptop are sitting. Okay? Please? Because, I don’t know, I’m just thinking that maybe the table could break and that it was a miracle of modern plastic that it didn’t tonight. Chris from Okazaki blazed the table trail and, my, did he do a good job… of doing whatever he did.

You can’t see me in this picture, but here’s my thought bubble offscreen: “HOLYFUCKBADIDEANEWLAPTOPNEWLAPTOPNEWLAPTOP.”
But Janice from Fuzzy Zoellers needed no table crutch. She did some old school spins, twirls and splits, impressing the crowd and winning her team fifty bucks. Well done, Zoellers. Unfortunately I have no usable picture of the dancing, so you’ll have to take my word on it. Magnifique!

Ms. Janice, beaming with pride at her exquisite dance moves.
Thanks everyone for coming out– tonight was ten thousand tons of fun. Let’s do it again next week, shall we? Big thanks to my new pal James for scoring tonight. Could not do it without him. Buy this man shots next week (after all, he’s grading your papers).

Beaks Who Stink.

The most hubris-laden team name of the night, Kirk Cameron Presents: Kirk Cameron’s Avatar.

Chicks With Dicks.

The Librarians joining us from Philly.

Crystal Ballers.

The MODOK Family Singers were back in the house.

The Nerd Herd.

Taco Cat.

You Should See The Bombs In My Underwear did great for just being a duo. To the gal member of the team, thank you for the headsup. I promise I didn’t ignore you. Promise.

Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band, who had me take a picture with THEIR camera that turned out great. Ironically, their picture? Blurry.

One half of Dracula’s Lament. The other half went to host the Alamo’s LOST premiere.

This is roughly half of Just The Tip and The Whole Shaft.

Finally Got a Table So We’re Not Still Standing In The Corner and friends.

Wicked Awesome.

Our third place winners, via dance-off, A Puppy Named Whitney.

The Fighting Okazaki Fragments, our second place winners.

Your evening’s eventual first place winners, The Fuzzy Zoellers. At this stage of the night they were in fifth place, hence the sad, indignant faces.

Tonight’s Scores!

Fuzzy Zoellers                             74
Fightin' Okazaki Fragments                 74
A Puppy Named Whitney                      71
Beaks Who Stink                            71
Kirk Cameron Presents: Kirk Cameron's
    Avatar                                 70
MODOK Family Singers                       66
You Should See the Bombs In My Underwear   62
The Whole Shaft                            61
Dracula's Lament                           60
Finally Got a Table, So We're Not Still
    Standing In The Corner                 59
Chicks With Dicks                          58
Taco Cat                                   57
Crystal Ballers                            56
The Librarians                             56
Just The Tip                               55
Nerd Herd                                  52
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band      52
Wicked Awesome                             41
Rich and Maggie                            23
Mimi                                       05
Team Phillip                               02